I Have GOOD Days, and Then I Have BAD Days

You may find me to be a confused and with a bit of fragmented mind set. I am a work in progress. A work in progress which will hopefully find its completion that is find its way to freedom. I am a two different person, was like this since my childhood. sometimes meek and submissive and sometimes so bold and daring that I used to end up being bashed up and thrashed either by parents or teachers at school. I liked to roam and explore freely and experience everything under the sky but my wings were clipped and I was a lame duck. I loved to be with plants and trees liked when the flowers and leaves caressed me and hugged me. I really miss those play hours when hours together we used to swing, chase butterflies, play hide and seek, sing, shout and dance in joy. Then I did not know God though parents used to do pujas on festival occasions and do shradha on shradh paksha but we were never taught any prayers or rituals to follow. I still remember my granny's puja room which I used to sneak in the afternoons when everyone was busy taking a nap. I used to forget time when I wan in the puja room looking at the various godly photos hung on the wall and used to sit on the elevated dias covered with tiger skin where my grandfather used sit and do his daily puja, though I did not get an opportunity to watch that but I have seen the pujari doing the daily puja. This was how I was introduced to God. Then I was exposed to God through movies and slowly I started talking to God whenever I was sad. Though I am not sad today but I want God to grant me whatever I wish for. If it happens then I will be the happiest person on earth.

Plucking Jasmine buds

My early memories of my existence are very vague, I must have been 4-5 years old and it is a happy moment. I can still see myself enjoying plucking the jasmines from the trailer. To reach there we had to go to the terrace landing from where we can go either straight to the terrace or take right turn there was an opening from where one has to carefully step down the slope of the roof of the corridor connecting the kitchen, store room, puja room and a big dining hall then the washroom area and the bathroom and the rest of the backyard. once we slided down the slope we could walk up to the jasmine trailer and pluck the half opened buds. This daily ritual I enjoyed very much, this I could do when we visited our grandparents in the big city and that was usually during the summer vacations or some weddings. We, the childern, were forbidden to enter grandpas office room (he was an advocate as well as a member or parliament), his bedroom and the living room which was a big hall with the antique teak furnitures and huge wall paintings. I still remember we used to sneak in to the living room once grandpa left for court or Gandhi Bhavan- the regional congress office. We were sure that he wont be coming till evening. Our grandma was a sick soul I dont remember she ever hugged or appreciated or she ever displayed her affection towards me now I know that she loved my elder sister and she used to give her gold jewery to wear for some special occasions like even visitng the temple. I remeber she used to plait her hair and put golden flower in the center and admire her. I think the first seeds of discard were sown by my grandmother nurtured by mother as well as my father. Now everything is crystal clear to me. If you are not good looking and dark even the parents discriminate. Now I am getting all heated and razed up I think I will stop here otherwise I will use abusive language.

Hello World

Hey everyone out there! how are you all doing? I know everyone of you is lovelorn and attention seeker. You!! and You out there are not content with your circle of friends in the neighborhood You want to reach out to the whole wide world that is why you are here. Today I have hijacked you on the highway and jumped into your bandwagon and together we will have bumpy ride in the blog world! Let us get down to the Nitty-gritty of things right.......... Ar.. arrrre I just feel like shouting hurray, and want to jump down from the wagon and run on the highway I don't know why but feeling elated and happy. See ya later